Okay. So I've met cats. I want that on the record. I've been in rooms with cats my whole life. Every one of them has looked at me like I'm the guy who came to fix the water heater and stayed for dinner.
Dr Hashbrowns is not that. I came through the front door and she was there. Not near the door. At the door. Like a hostess at a restaurant that only has one table. And it's yours. And she's been holding it all night.
Then she followed me. I went to the kitchen and she's in the kitchen. Back to the couch? Couch. I went to the bathroom and I could feel her out in the hallway just sort of existing at me through the door. I've got friends from high school who never once wondered where I went.
They told me she comes when she's called. I didn't believe it. A cat that comes when it's called is like a raccoon that pays rent. So I said her name real quiet. Like a question I didn't want the answer to. And she came right over. Came over like I had news about her family.
And she doesn't hunt. I need people to understand this. There's a whole world of cats out there doing crimes in the backyard. Leaving birds on the porch like a mob guy leaving a fish. She is not in that world. If a moth got in the house I think she'd just watch it with concern. Like it's her nephew and he's going through something.
And then there's Yuki. Yuki is a border collie who lives in the house and Yuki has the energy of a guy who's about to get promoted. I'm not going to lie to you. I watched Yuki for a while. Everybody keeps telling me the Doctor is dog-like. I think I figured out why. I think she's been studying under one.
She knows when dinner is. Not roughly. She knows it like a guy who's worked at the same plant for thirty years and his body just stands up at 4:59. Same with bedtime. And if you stay up she stays up. She is not going to bed without you. She'll sit there at one in the morning while you watch a man restore a rusty shovel and she won't say a word about it. Like a little night nurse.
Which honestly might be the whole doctor thing. Maybe that's the practice. Night shift. No appointments. She just shows up.
On my last day I asked her straight out what she's a doctor of. She looked at me for a long time. Then she got up and walked into the next room. And I followed her. Because man. At that point I'd follow her anywhere. I think that's how she gets you. I think that's the whole thing.
Our correspondent has since been reassigned and still asks about her most days.
